I am happy…not!

I thought a change of scenery is what I needed but it seems like it is not what I wanted after all. If you haven't known, I lived in Massachusetts for the last 5.5 years. Throughout the time I was living up there, I kept talking about how much I missed Maryland. I feel like I am lying to myself. Did I really miss Maryland that much? What's the difference between Maryland and Massachusetts? After the past few month, I have come to realization that I, in fact, do not miss Maryland at all and that I miss Massachusetts more. I feel happy to be home and no more dealing with rent and heavy financial stuff. I also feel lost here. I don't know where my place is here anymore. I feel like a nobody and more of a burden to people. In Massachusetts, I felt like I belonged and I was a somebody. People actually see me and wants to be my friend. They see the real me and not the person I pretend to be. Massachusetts people are real people and not fakes. Sorry in advance if I sound like a douchebag. Maryland people are fakes. DMV people are fakes. People here act like they're entitled. Entitled to what? What are they entitled to and why does it matter? 

I busted my ass off the last 5.5 years working at this lousy agency and gotten abused left and right. I endured these pains to get to where I am now. I went into work everyday even though I didn't want to. I have been talked down to and seen as useless. I didn't want to work, I wanted to be lazy. And now in my new duty location, I feel like that was all for nothing. People here are lazy ass bums! What is the point of coming into work to be lazy? Why bother working then? I have seen way too many lazy people here than in Boston. When I called them out on it, it suddenly felt like I said something offensive when it is not. Why? Because they don't want to admit to it. They pretend they don't see it and I get ostracized. Lazy people don't deserve praises and rewards. But instead, they rather punish the hard worker. Punish the hard working people because they are the hard workers and that they're not lazy. People here also enjoy prying into other people's business. Why does it matter what I do outside of work? What are you trying to do? Write me up for enjoying life on my days off? Trying to reason with people here is impossible. None of these arguments make any sense. Like seriously, say something smart rather than what the media feeds you and think that what they say is true. Trying to talk to these people makes me want to just jump off a building just so it can take me out of my misery. 

So I called you out for being lazy. Why are you upset about this? Because you say that you're not lazy? Action speaks louder than words. If I see you being lazy and not doing your work like you're supposed to, then I will call you out. Then you go ahead and call me a snitch? It is not snitching because I did not catch you doing something that you were not supposed to do. I caught you being lazy and reported it. The issue isn't the fact that you were caught this time and that I didn't speak with you. It is because of the fact that you were talked to NUMEROUS times over the same thing and you don't seem to get it. It is like you understood today and tomorrow, you forgot. How do you think I feel?